It's all about perspective; or so I have come to understand.
Life always doesn't go according to plan, or to dreams, for that matter.
There are many days I wake up thinking 'How can this possibly be my life' it looks nothing like the life I had once hoped for, and planned for. When I was 16 I had so much hope and ambition. I had a bit of fear of the unknown, but the sky was the limit and I was excited for what was to come. I had many areas of interest that I now have come to believe became my stumbling block.
My inability to make a decision. Always worried about making the wrong choice. And in turn it has becoming the very thing that has paralysed me. Rather them making a choice, taking a risk, I sit on my hands in fear and let everything pass me by.
Somehow I have come to believe it is the easier choice, the safer choice. But now, 1o years later, I feel like a prisoner to my fear, bound up standing on the dock watching the ship passing me by.
Yet there are days I wake up thankful for all the love and joy in my life. For remembering that it is a privilege to live in this country and to know that my basic needs are met when so many are suffering through each day thinking of only survival. How can I be so selfish when I have so much. How can I complain when I have had every opportunity at my fingertips.
I want to take hold of this life I have been given and live it to the full. Not in a selfish pursuit of things that will never satisfy, but in pursuit of something so much more. I want to be a good steward of this life I have been given. As the parable that Jesus told about the Talents "To whom much is given, much is required..."
So here's to living my life, to letting my guard down. By rediscovering the beauty in simple things, and to embracing hope and joy, not tainted by fear and bitterness, but with a thankful heart.
I have finally been Awakened. I am learning to breathe again.
Life always doesn't go according to plan, or to dreams, for that matter.
There are many days I wake up thinking 'How can this possibly be my life' it looks nothing like the life I had once hoped for, and planned for. When I was 16 I had so much hope and ambition. I had a bit of fear of the unknown, but the sky was the limit and I was excited for what was to come. I had many areas of interest that I now have come to believe became my stumbling block.
My inability to make a decision. Always worried about making the wrong choice. And in turn it has becoming the very thing that has paralysed me. Rather them making a choice, taking a risk, I sit on my hands in fear and let everything pass me by.
Somehow I have come to believe it is the easier choice, the safer choice. But now, 1o years later, I feel like a prisoner to my fear, bound up standing on the dock watching the ship passing me by.
Yet there are days I wake up thankful for all the love and joy in my life. For remembering that it is a privilege to live in this country and to know that my basic needs are met when so many are suffering through each day thinking of only survival. How can I be so selfish when I have so much. How can I complain when I have had every opportunity at my fingertips.
I want to take hold of this life I have been given and live it to the full. Not in a selfish pursuit of things that will never satisfy, but in pursuit of something so much more. I want to be a good steward of this life I have been given. As the parable that Jesus told about the Talents "To whom much is given, much is required..."
So here's to living my life, to letting my guard down. By rediscovering the beauty in simple things, and to embracing hope and joy, not tainted by fear and bitterness, but with a thankful heart.
I have finally been Awakened. I am learning to breathe again.
your life is a shining star in the night of my past and present - I cherish your friendship and your wisdom. I miss your contribution to my life. I think February is a long time away.
ReplyDeleteI love you, my friend.
Brenda