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...sometimes


Lament
By Audrey Assad 

I'm Mary and I'm Martha all at the same time;
I'm sitting at His feet and yet I'm dying to be recognized.
I am a picture of contentment and I am dissatisfied.
Why is it easy to work and hard to rest sometimes,
sometimes,sometimes

I'm restless, and I rustle like a thousand tall trees;
I'm twisting and I'm turning in an endless daydream.
You wrestle me at night and I wake in search of You...
but try as I might, I just can't catch You
But I want to, 'cause I need You, yes, I need You
                                          I can't catch You, but I want to. 
I find myself often stuck on a few particular albums at a time, getting to know them well; trying to truly understand  and discover what the writer is trying to convey through their lyrics. And, of course, to be able to sing along, loudly ;)

Jon Bryant and Audrey Assad happen to be the two that I am currently hooked to.

This song by Audrey caught me off guard, as though what I have been unable to give voice to, suddenly was revealing itself in this song. The first section of this song caught me so off guard that I found myself weeping in my car driving home in the dark unable to understand why it affected me so much. And then I realized it was me... these lyrics she was singing was as though it was what my soul had been longing to say. I had been unable to recognize that I have slowly become caught up in being busy that I have not given enough time to ' Be still and know' that He is God; To rest at his feet as Mary did and to be able to live my life to please Him, not people.
This is where I find myself. Content and dissatisfied. I need more of Him- to refocus the affection and attention of my heart and mind back to His heart and mind. 


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