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5 Years

5 years ago.

The day I boarded a plane to fly over the pond to a place unknown

Yes.
3 letters.
And 1 important decision. 

A 3-month invitation to stay with a family friend.
To be part of their family.
To explore a new place.

With fear and trembling, letting go of the safe and predictable life.
I took a step towards something new.

What I didn't know then, that I know now.
My life forever changed.

For I felt once bound by an unspoken expectation.
A predictable sort of life... and yet try as I may I could not make it work.
Restless and unsettled.

Lost in thought.
Lost. 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dr. Patrick Dixon spoke at a leadership conference I attended this past September.
It was one of the most incredible things I had had the privilege to hear.
But one thing stuck out.


"Don't waste your life doing something you don't love."


Waste.
So simple and deeply profound.

Because here is the truth. 
The important truth I have learned these past 5 years. 

We have but one life. 
And no rewind or restart option is available.
Why would I waste my life doing things I don't love, if I have a choice?
Who am I pleasing?
Who am I impressing?
And if 'they'(who ever they are) have a negative opinion of what I do, or who I am, should it matter?
No.

Because whose life is it?
Who has entrusted me with this life?
Do I not answer to Him? 
Is it not because and for Him, that I live and breath and have my very existence....

For if that is the case, why would I waste my time pleasing the unpleasable crowds, who know not of what they 'understand' of my life?

Waste my life.
NO.

LIVE.
To spend my life discovering, growing and being challenged.
Learning to love, honour, give and seek to help those who have need of what I may possess...
Of what I have been entrusted to.
Not to survive, but thrive, as Switchfoot so eloquently puts it in song. 

By laying down control of so many areas of my life, with imperfection and great fear I may add.
I have received immeasurable gifts.
Not of the visible & tangible:not my own house,titles or wealth.
But of the relational and the places my eyes have beheld and my feet have walked upon.

 I have been welcomed into a great many a homes.
Given meals that nourished me.
Filled with deep and meaningful conversations. 
Ears that listened. 
Arms that hugged me.
Love given for who I was, not for what I possessed or did.
They spoke words that encouraged me and showed me of the things I could not see in moments of pain and confusion.
 Reminding me of my value, time and time again.
Laughter.
 So much laughter and joy.
Walks, talks, and places explored as friendships deepened.
These are the things I am rich with. 





My life may not look normal.
I may not have the typical boxes checked by this stage of my life.
Career, Husband, Home, Children....
But my life isn't defined by what I have achieved or if the list of boxes are checked.

My life is made up of who I am, in response to what I have been given.
This is a massive challenge in which I am still growing and learning. 

My treasures and my possessions may be only in my memory. 
In the unspoken certainties between myself and my beloved friends.
Of the shared memories and adventures, challenges and things we overcame.
Of the late nights of moving chairs and hoovering in preparation for the events of the next day.

These 5 years have been full of such beautiful and immeasurable moments of value.
But they would not be, if I had not laid down my preference.
 If I had not let go of the 'control' I thought I possessed.
But rather admit I have no control, except in how I choose to respond to life and those around.
And simply trust and walk in faith.


These moments were not all easy.
Many, many...oh many tears (witnesses can confirm!) were shed.

Sweat, tiredness, challenges and facing fears, were all a part of these moments becoming.

Yes.
I would do it all again.
Thank you to all who have been apart of these incredible 5 years. It has been an honour and joy to know you and call you friends.
Thank you for your love.

Here's to the next chapter of  this incredible privilege... This journey.

The destination is unknown.
But I am enjoying the view and loving those I have met along the way.







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