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To hold light...


And like that one moment falls into the past and we find ourselves in a new year
And oh what a year it has been.
The beginning of 2016 found me here in Canada, experiencing winter once again.
Feeling I had exhausted all possibilities of getting to the place I had wanted
with no real expectations for the year.
Winter
A time when the world feels dark and isolated, where one must hide away.
I felt like my emotions were reflecting what I was experiencing in the natural, despite my best attempts to seek the sunlight and the promise of spring,
I found myself guilty of giving into the sadness of winter.

With the first hints of spring, March brought an opportunity and gift.
Returning to England for 4 weeks. 

My birthday, attending Easter conference, celebrating friends weddings...
These 4 weeks would fill my heart with enough joy to face the reality
of being once again parted from the people and the place I longed for.

And suddenly...
4 weeks became a 6-months
Not by any doing of my own, but an unexpected gift

6 months
 A gift and blessing and yet very challenging in new ways
Lessons to be learned, things to overcome. learning to walk in humility in ways that hurt,
 Having to learn to hold things lightly...seeing life change from breath to breath

Understanding that if I truly trusted that His ways were higher than mine,
I had to let go of what I had held so tightly to and open my hands and say
'What I have is yours...And if you take or replace it with something different I have to trust you know what is best.'
I still have yet to master this with grace. :)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
As the last of the summer flowers faded and the once green leaves turned to their autumn colours
I had to take another deep breath as I prepared to let go of what I loved

And suddenly
A new opportunity.
Denmark, Italy.
What?

I didn't prepare for this.
I had no means to make this happen or sustain myself.
But  I had nothing to loose and everything to gain.
Through many conversations, tears and prayer those who I had trusted and loved helped me to see that I had to hold lightly.
And say yes to these new opportunities.
No matter the new challenges that brought my fears to the surface and tried to take from me all that could be, I knew this was an opportunity of a lifetime.
And suddenly provision and connection flowed out of my yes.
By no means of my own or anything  I did to deserve it. He was faithful through many people.
I had no idea what I would experience in these new places or the people I would meet.
But I had to trust.
And I am so grateful.
Because now I have met, once again, people who have changed me and left a deep impression upon my heart.

And I can't imagine my life without them.
There were new challenges;
Language barriers, cultural differences and yet those things enriched my time and hopefully my character in ways I could never understand until having had to face the things that scared me
Yet brought reward and joy into my life.

Denmark <3

Italy


Equippers Roma
My Italian 'Family'

2017... 
I have no idea what will happen.
But here is to a year full of unknowns and the challenge and joys it will bring.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Let us love in word and deed...





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